Non-mahrams

Q: I would like advice regarding the following matter:

In our family, it is a norm that the women who are in parda don’t make parda from our family men but they make parda from everyone else. I did the same when I first went into parda but Alhumdulilah with the encouragement from my apas, Allah granted me the taufeeq to wear parda correctly (i.e for all ghair mahram men). 

My family is not in favor of this decision.

1. An elder has reprimanded me for making parda for my mothers sisters husbands due to the fact that I cannot marry them. What should my reply be to such statements since it is an elder? They adamantly tell me to take it out and sit on the eating table.

2. If my uncles (non mahram) enter the kitchen or the area where the females are and they greet me I reply. I avoid any type of conversation with them. But someone had brought it to my attention that this is hurting their feelings as I use to treat them as if they were my fathers from a young age. Am I correct in what I am doing?

3. Some people say that it is sufficient to just avoid talking to all of these non mahram family men and not wear parda in front of them if ones family is like how my family is. Is this correct?

Q: In islam one is meant to keep strict pardah in front of ones cousins. I am Aware of a Girl who after becoming baaligh has done things which are wrong she has exposed her body to her cousins brothers and vise versa she had allowed one of her cousins to play a filthy action of him doing jima in the condition they both had clothes on she has allowed them to touch and feel her. They were the early stages of her becoming baaligh she doesn't know why she allowed such things to happen. She regrets and has remorse over such wrong doings as well as asking Allah Ta'ala for forgiveness is there anything she could do?

Q: Is there purdah between the husband's baligh son and the wife's baligh daughter from a previous marriage? Would they become milk brothers and sisters if the new wife has a baby from her husband and breast feeds the baby? Will the breast feeding of this mutual brother and sister render his and her children milk siblings. Please explain the ruling according to hanafi and shafi.

Q: I was like kind of attracted to my sister in-law. About a year back my wife and I where having an argument. She was telling me that she does not like me talking to her sister and that I'm always talking to her sister etc. I always like had the thought that the rule regarding where a man touches his mother in-law with lust nikah breaks may also apply to the sister in law also. I also had doubts as to whether the rule may apply to the sister in law. I was not completely sure. Anyway, during that argument I told my wife "you know if I even touch .... (my wifes sister) nikah breaks" with no intention of any taalaq at all. I wasn't suspending or issuing a talaaq I wasn't even thinking about taalaq. I just told her that for it to seem as though that is the Islamic ruling. I just guessed/made up/lied for it to seem that that is the Islamic ruling and for her not to worry and to give assurance. I had absolutely no intention of any talaaq. The only intention I may have had was not to touch my sister in law because its a sin. After couple of months I touched my sister in-law with lust then after a few months I may have touched her with lust again. I was told by various Muftis that no talaaq or suspended talaaq takes place.

1. After getting these fatwas I have started to get strong waswasas that I had intention. I get thoughts like "think properly about your intention" "this happened so long ago how can you be so sure you had no intention". All this while I was certain that I had no intention at all, I was 100% sure. Now this waswasa is making me have doubts which is really affecting me. I was told to ignore waswasa. What I'm trying to say is that all this while I was certain I had no intention only after getting fatwas from muftis that I am safe then these thoughts came up.

2. Another thought that came to my mind was supposing the statement I made was "you know if I even touch her our nikah breaks" and not "you know if I even touch her nikaah breaks". With no intention (same situation as above in the 1st paragraph) I asked this question to another two muftis and they both told me the ruling is still the same. No talaq. 

3. Once a long time ago after getting fatwas from muftis, my sister in law sat next to me and I was so tempted to touch her and I knew that waswasa was going to start and I said in my mind only, not verbal something like "now its three talaqs and shaytaan must stop worrying me"  and allowed my body to touch against hers? Am I safe? Can that be talaaq? Regardless of the intention talaaq has to be be verbal or written for it to be valid am I correct? Am I safe? Is there any talaq in these situation? I humbly await your reply. 

​I make dua to Allah that he forgives me for the sin of touching my sister in-law with lust.