Basis of choosing a spouse
Q: I'm a doctor by profession and inshallah a child specialist very soon... I am 29 years old... My father wants me to marry his nephew who is a laboratary technician and works in a lab... I personally don't want to marry him because I want that someone should be of my rank at least, other wise my friends and others will make fun of me.
Now, my father is insisting on his point of view for the last 10 years... He rejects proposals from outside and my parents continuously force that my cousins proposal is a good proposal... They say that If I marry out of the family then I will suffer a lot... The boy can beat me and send me home.
I'm stuck between not to marrying my cousin and the fear of marrying intp an unknown family. I want to ask whether I should do as my parents my parents say as they are old and in depression? They even curse me that I am the reason behind their distress and suffering and if I will not follow their wish, I will never be happy. Please guide me.
A: The hadeeth directs us to make piety and religion the reason for preference, not the degree and profession. Obviously, no person's understanding is greater than the understanding of Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Both you and your father should make this the reason of preference. Leave what people have to say, because people never spared anybody, neither a good person nor any bad person. Go with what Allah and Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) say and insha Allah you will be blessed.
And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
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